Knowing how to receive feedback is half the battle. The receiver has a responsibility to be mindful of the context of the feedback, as well as self-aware of his or her own biases. This post will expand on the dynamics and awareness required to effectively receive feedback; including:
- Defensive Triggers
- Blind Spots
- Context & Intentions
- System Dynamics
Content credit for this post go to Thanks for the Feedback and to my close friend Jose Varela for his help.
Let’s get started.
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1. Understand your Defensive Triggers
Defensive triggers affect our willingness to acknowledge and internalize critique from others. Three main triggers that prevent us from receiving feedback are:
|
Trigger |
Obstacle |
|
Truth |
We don’t take the feedback because we have a problem with the content itself. We feel that it is wrong, off-target or simply out of context. |
|
Social |
We don’t take the feedback because we have a problem with the giver. We might not believe their credibility on the topic or not appreciate the way they delivered the feedback. |
|
Identity |
We don’t take the feedback because we have a problem with how it affects our relationship with ourself. It undermines our self-perception and makes us feel overwhelmed or defensive. |
Understand your reactions and responses that impair/affect your ability to receive feedback.
2. Understand your Blind Spots
When people give you feedback, it’s for a reason. There is something they’ve figured out that you are blind to or haven’t realized. A couple common blind spots :
- We can’t see our facial expressions.
- We can’t hear our tone of voice.
- We are unaware of our behaviour patterns.
If you find yourself reacting defensively to feedback, first identify if a blind spot is at hand. Understand that others have exclusive access to information about our faults that is necessary for our development.
3. Understand the Context & Intentions
In order to interpret the feedback being received, you must be able to tie the context of the giver to the intentions behind the feedback being given:
| Where are they coming from? |
← → |
Where were they going? |
|
|
Spend some time trying to understand the context from which the feedback has been crafted.
4. Understand the ‘Dynamics’ of the Feedback System
Feedback doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It’s usually influenced by the environment and dynamics within which it occurs. Think of feedback as a ‘system‘ of dynamics, in order to understand the various influences at play:
|
Layer |
Dynamics |
|
Actions |
How are my actions contributing to the feedback dynamics? |
|
Beliefs |
How does the feedback reflect preferences, assumptions, styles, or implicit rules between us? |
|
Expectations |
Do our roles and responsibilities create adversarial, conflicting or clashing situations? |
|
Influences |
What other players, processes, structures, and team culture are influencing the dynamics of the feedback? |
Understand the dynamics at play between the giver and the receiver.
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Main Takeaway
Receiving feedback is about allowing yourself to focus on the content and to manage the social/emotional context surrounding the dynamics between you and the giver of the feedback.
Once you can separate the ‘what’ from the ‘who’, you’ll be in a position to objectively assess the feedback and the context in which it is being received.
That’s it for now! Cheers ‘till next time!
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